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August 5th 2009
How does one sum up
all that they have been through for the past
fifteen months in one little blog? I have been
racking my brain this
past week writing and re-writing, trying to best
express my feelings. I
tend to want to tell so much and end up with pages
and pages of
rambling thoughts in an order that only I would be
able to decipher. I
would love to sit down with a writer to help enable
me to focus all my
thoughts and stories to share. This will have to
suffice for now! Enjoy!
It has been a
monumental past year. We went into this not knowing
what the outcome would be, and learned it exceeded
all expectations! I
personally went into this with trepidations,
anxieties, and self doubt. The
decision to return to something I left so many years
ago was one that
was not to be taken lightly. I had so many questions
going through my
mind. I obsessed to death all the things that would
happen to me,
and how I would handle this reunion.
The day I drove to the
studio to meet up with the guys had to be
one of the longest drives in history for me, I was
beyond
nervous. After meeting up with everyone and spending
some quality time
together I realized not much had changed between us.
It was at that moment I knew I had made
the right choice. The journey ahead was official.
There was no stopping the momentum.
There was so much work
ahead for all, and would require lots of
time and energy. I flew out to Los Angeles with
Jordan and stayed at Donnie’s house. I
figured it would be a quick trip but ended up not
really coming home
until now. Our time there was the perfect
opportunity for us all to
begin reconnecting. I hadn’t really kept in touch
with anyone over the years,
Donnie being the one I had lost all contact with. It
was a whole new
world for me, all over again. Long days rehearsing,
and being coop’ed up
in doors. These things had become very foreign to
me. There were plenty
of times I would ask myself “What am I doing”? If I
hadn’t had the
reassurance and support of the guys to keep me
going, I don’t know what the outcome would have
been today. We had all been through this before and
knew amongst
each other the feelings we were all feeling! The
pressures, and the want
to be the absolute best we could be! For me the
pressure was ten fold.
I hadn’t been on a stage or in front of an audience
since the early
nineties! “Could I really pull this off”? I would
ask myself over and
over?” As time passed very quickly, I slowly gave
into it all and found I was enjoying myself.
After we had pretty
much everything in order we headed overseas. We had
such a great time in Europe doing promotion for the
album and the tour.
The days were extremely long. We did so many visits
to radio and television stations in so many
countries. It was an amazing way to be able to see
the sights along the way and
to meet so many interesting people. Filming the
cameo for the movie was
even more amazing. I had never been on a movie set,
and to be on one in
an old castle was truly incredible! This was where
we came up
with the name for the album, sitting around a table
in that very castle.
Returning from Europe
It had been almost one year since talks began
about putting this reunion together. We were ready
to take the show on the road, and were now on
our way to Toronto to begin the last week of
full rehearsal. My head was still spinning, knowing
we were about to
perform our first show, and in realization of how
far this had
progressed! I had been to so many concerts after my
NK’s days, and
always left with them with an empty feeling in my
heart! Something deep inside me
really missed it all, and now it was reality. I had
many sleepless nights that week
in Toronto, as I’m sure we all did. Walking into the
venue and seeing our stage for the first time was
so surreal! It was a sight to behold. A trophy for
all the work, the
sore muscles, the absence of home, the longing for
family, and the
dedication of all that had worked so hard to put it
all together!
Opening night had
finally arrived. I was thankful to have my family
and
loved ones come to give me comfort and support. It
was the most amazing
yet fearful day I have had in a while. This was now
going to be my
life. A life the total opposite of where I had been
the last many
years.
“Go for house lights,
go for house lights, go for house
lights”………. this is the first thing we hear at the
start of every show. House lights dim and we
scurried into position to be hoisted up on the
stage, all together
again. The lift slowly rose as we gazed upon a sea
of flashbulbs, and the excitement of
thousands of dedicated fans from around the world.
There are no words
to describe that moment. It was a feeling that found
its way deep into
my soul and brought the most euphoric feeling into
my heart! I thank
you all for that truly magical moment. It will be
with me forever!
As the end of the year
is fast approaching I look back at many things.
I have a new found respect for my partners in crime
and a realization
that if you put your mind to something, fear will
not get the best of
you. Fear can stifle you, but it doesn’t have to
hold you down
completely. I am blessed to have lived so many
moments and experiences.
I am blessed to have been able to see the world
again. Most
importantly, I am blessed to have all of you back in
my life!
The journey has only
just begun. I wish us all an incredible trip…………..
Love and respect,
Jon |